In the depths of the Yucatan peninsula, Thomas Breathnach got a taste of ancient civilisations and modern-day luxury.
It was the grandest of midnight arrivals. Through the gated environs of Dreams Riviera Cancun Resort, on the verges of the Mayan Riviera, I entered a magnificent open-air atrium of gilded flame torches and jetting fountains. This was the veritable ‘Paradise Hotel’, where I could almost expect Amanda Byram to swan down the marble staircase with 12 cocoa-buttered beauties, before introducing me as ‘The Bachelor’. Instead, it was a dapper bellboy who appeared, ushering me out to my room as coconut palms swished in the moonlit Caribbean bluster.
I’d landed in honeymoon heaven solo. My suite, along a corridor of just-married doors, was a romantic and decadent tribal affair of dark woods and a cool ivory decor – and two jet tubs, just for good measure. Being the novelty of my first all-inclusive holiday – trademarked here as Unlimited Luxury – my first step was to quell those post-flight munchies with late-night room-service. A silver platter of salmon within minutes: this was the vida for me.
I woke the next morning to white sands, opal waters and straw-roofed cabanas and, even more strikingly, the tropical orchestra of songbirds. Here, in Puerto Morelos, just 30km south of Cancun proper, it was concrete-jungle free and surrounded by endless expanses of lush mangroves. Dreams Riviera is home to nine restaurants – no bracelets, no reservations – and content as I was to dine on ceviche and guacamole all day, there was an ancient civilisation deep in that jungle to discover.
A full-day Be Maya excursion took me three hours deep into the Yucatan peninsula and the ruins of Chichen Itza (Sunway; from €80), located beyond the colonial town of Valladolid and an otherwise endless swampland, where sun-lounging iguanas basked on the roadside.
After a slightly touristy welcome ceremony, where a jaded shaman performed a ritual of individual blessings, it was time to explore the site. We strolled past non-stop “one dolla!” vendors with their stalls of traditional shawls and wood carvings, and through the thickets to the one-time Maya city. Around us stood the Temple of Warriors, Platform of Venus and El Castillo pyramid, built in honour of the serpent deity Kukulkan.
Chichen Itza, a recent winner of the new Seven Wonders of the World poll, was bustling. Last December’s end-of-the- universe exposé also seemed to be luring the crowds. “We said it was just the end of the Maya calendar cycle,” protested Alberto, “not the world!” That’s all the conspiracy theorists need to herald an apocalypse, amigo. Amid the masses, however, my wanderings did deliver flashes of abandoned solitude, as I lay in the midday heat, shadowed by more than a millennium of history.
Also included in my excursion was a traditional Maya cookery class; a laid-back culinary info session that was like an audience-participation segment from the Latino Food Network. Alberto, a Maya himself, took charge of the al fresco demo, kitting us out with aprons and cardboard chef hats. First, we marinated chicken breasts in a spicy blood-red salsa, before smothering it with chopped bell peppers and finally wrapping it with banana leaves. Then, using the traditional Yucatan ‘pibil’ method of cooking underground, our meal was placed in a ‘here’s-one-I-dug-earlier’ hole and left to cook with burning embers. It made for tasty fare, though the caramelised potato dessert wasn’t something I’d be trying to recapture back home.
“Today, I hope you got a flavour of the real Mexico,” Alberto said as we parted that evening. I had a distinct impression the “real Mexico” would be where he and our coach driver would be necking back the Jose Cuervo that evening, but it wasn’t the time for protestation. “Absolutely. Muchos gracias!”
Tired of feeling like a jilted lover on his honeymoon, I was joined midweek by my American friend Katie, who dutifully responded to my lonesome laments of unbridled luxury. She arrived to what had been a week of unsettled weather in the tropics, though the March temperatures were still lingering in the mid-20s.
Joining the rains, we picked up some sea kayaks (high-five, Unlimited Luxury) and paddled out the coast in the tepid drizzle, with clear waters below us. Cancun is home to the Northern Hemisphere’s largest coral reef, which saw us floating out over an ebony world of corals, clams and conches. Next stop, Belize? Surely at only 100km away and with that tailwind, we’d be there by tea time.
Our second hotel stay brought us to north to Secrets The Vine Cancun, the latest, urbane glam skyscraper to grace Cancun’s mega 14-mile hotel block. Welcomed by a porter with warm refresher towels, flutes of Prosecco awaited en route to the hotel’s panoramiccheck-in; a ceremonious sit-down affair, as if Katie and I were about to sign the dotted line for an on-site timeshare.
This was a penthouse pad, however, complete with our own butler, Auturo. He toured us around our wrap-windowed glasshouse suite, with its L-sofa lounges, marble bathroom with rain shower and tub, chunky walnut furnishings, and menu mood-lighting (leisure, relax, work?). Beneath our balcony, Cancun’s Vegas-like strip of hotels was lapped upon by the kaleidoscopic Caribbean blue and the Nichupte lagoon, a moody inlet festering with gators. As we took in the views – and the suite – two mighty frigate birds glided serenely past us. Here, 26 stories high above Cancun’s hectic hoi polloi, it seemed we’d been lofted into our very own ecosystem of zen.
After settling into our swish habitat, it was time to venture out to the rest of our demesne. A visit to the VIP infinity pool for a virgin pina colada was followed by the Pevonia Spa for his ‘n’ hers massages and an invigorating chaser of hydrotherapies. As with Dreams Riviera, Secrets The Vine also offers activities to get guests in la moda Mexicana, such as morning yoga sessions and salsa classes. I found myself rolling out of bed for the daily poolside Spanish class: “How d’ya say ‘another beer’?”, yelled my American classmate. I guess I could kiss adios to mastering the subjunctive.
Two days of fine world-dining (tacos, T-bones, teppanyaki) and hopeful sun-lounging later – it did, finally make an appearance – it seemed I was back on the runway almost as quick as I landed. Amid its crazy fiesta reputation, I had actually discovered a Cancun cocoon of refuge – even if reality was about to hit like a pinata. “Our temperature today in Philadelphia is 4°C,” announced our captain, as we taxied away from our gate.
“Oh man,” came a yell from behind, about to echo the emotions of the entire plane. “Turn this baby right back!”
Need to know
Getting there
Thomas went to Cancun with Sunway Holidays, which flies from Dublin to Cancun year round (01-2311800; sunway.ie). Flight time to Cancun is shy of 11 hours with a stopover in Gatwick or the U.S.
A one week Unlimited Luxury package at 5* Dreams Riviera Cancun Resort & Spa costs from €1243pps with prices for 5* Secrets The Vine Cancun starting at €1843pps. Dreams Riviera is child friendly with a complimentary kids club while The Vine is an over 18’s resort. Sunway’s 4* options start from €1098 staying at the Sunscape Sabor Cozumel. Prices include flights and transfers and are all-inclusive.
Bookings before April 30th receive up to $400 in resort coupons for Sep/Oct departures.
Tipping tip: All hotels have a no-tipping policy and tips are not solicited by staff. Given the exceptional Mexican staff throughout however, you may find yourself setting aside about $10 a day.
Five great things to do
Set sail on a catamaran for the dreamy Isla Mujeres. Once on the island, enjoy a seafood lunch, grab a cocktail or amble through the island’s rainbow coloured boutiques. (Sunway; €55)
Snorkle with the sea rays! Forget swimming with the dolphins; this coral reef adventure within shallow waters makes an ideal underwater escape for beginners. (Sunway; €48)
Slip-slide your way across the Mayan Riviera with an afternoon of zip-lining over the Yucatan jungle. Keep an eye out for hummingbirds! (Sunway; €60)
Hold your breath for Cancun’s Underwater Museum: a fascinating new installation of sculpture, designed as extra habitat for tropical fish and flora. Think Rodain – in a reef. (scubacancun.com.mx; from €22)
Sit back for the animated Tales of the Maya Skies film at Chichen Itza’s planetarium. One for the kids (or history buffs). (€5)